10 Reasons why NOT to apply to Startup Sauna

March 28, 2017

Startup Sauna is not for everyone.

1. It’s just too intensive. If you like to take your time and work on things profoundly (slowly) this program is not for you. Startup Sauna doesn’t want to waste founders’ precious time by prolonging the program to unnecessary lengths.

2. Coaches are too honest. Finns are praised for being one of the most honest nation in the world. Sauna coaches provide you genuinely honest feedback, they don’t pat your back and tell that’s everything is okay, when it’s not. That might hurt your feelings sometimes.

3. It’s so cold in Finland. That’s true. During the winter it’s cold, that’s why Startup Sauna folks keep the things intensive at accelerator, you’ll be busy working so hard you won’t notice the cold outside.

4. They take no equity. That’s right. There are too many entities that claim to help, but just end up messing with your cap table. So if you insist on giving them a piece of your business, you can turn around and go right back home.

5. You get the whole program for free. Well, nothing is really free! You need to cover your flights and food yourself. The program itself is free, as well as the accommodation for two members of the team for the 7 weeks.

6. You’re part of Helsinki’s startup ecosystem where everybody is trying to help each other. You practically share a roof with the biggest players in their fields, like Slush and Supercell. This can be veeeeery tiring.

7. Their pitching workshops are too much to handle. Startup Sauna’s pitching coaches are one of the best in the region and they demand seeing results during the program. The results? Sauna alumni tend to win pitching competitions after the program.

8. You might be selected to a VC road show after the program to London, Berlin and Silicon Valley.  Everybody knows how stressful it is to meet VCs for five days in a row. Also, every day is packed with so many meetings that you won't have the time to do any sightseeing, poor Big Ben.

9. Finnish people party too much. That’s why we have the  “No social media after 6PM” rule. So you don't have to be judged by the whole world when you embrace our culture. 

10. You will need to attend this crazy thing called Slush. Things at the number 1 startup conference might get hectic as there will be over 17 000 people attending it and generally if you don’t like people, you shouldn’t attend nor Startup Sauna and Slush.

Ok, thanks, bye.

PS. If for some weird reason you do feel like applying, badass, you can do it here